Quite Literally
by SophieSolo
Summary: Spirit Albarn never thought he would have to offer parenting advice to another individual. Features Shinigami, Spirit Albarn and Death the Kidd.


Quite Literally

Title: Quite Literally

Characters: Shinigami, Spirit Albarn, Death the Kidd

Disclaimers: None of the characters are mine!

Summery: Spirit Albarn never though he would have to give nurturing advice to another individual…

A/N: I am assuming that Maka, Black Star and Kidd are all 14 when the series starts; please correct me if I am wrong! I also don't have a habit of using Japanese honorific-words in stories (I'll incorporate them in the future).

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12 Years Ago:

Spirit Albarn is facing Death. Quite literally.

Earlier that morning, Shinigami had asked for the Death Scythe to be present, and now both of them were sitting on couches opposite each other. Spirit thought that the sudden meeting had to do with an urgent mission, or new intelligence that arrived from outside the city…but instead, it involves nurturing advice for a two-year-old child.

The child mentioned above goes by the name of Death the Kidd.

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_14 Years Ago:_

_Of all the things Shinigami could have had in his life, he chose to have a son. The Grim Reaper didn't share the details of Kidd's birth (nor did Spirit want to ask, some things were better left unknown), but came to the office one day carrying a bundle. Having witnessed Maka's birth just a month earlier, Spirit immediately knew what the bundle was: a baby. _

_It was the strangest baby he had ever seen, with three white stripes across his hair and unwavering yellow eyes. Even without these unique markers, the baby's bored expression disturbed him. How could a baby feel bored anyways? His baby Maka never looked bored—she was a healthy and very adorable looking baby girl who was constantly curious about her surroundings. _

_Realising that he was being rude and staring too much at the child, Spirit asked "What is his name?"_

_The confused reaper turned his head sideways. "Name?"_

"_Yea, something to address your child with?"_

"_He needs one?"_

_Spirit was speechless. Was it possible that the mighty Shinigami had no clue how to raise a child? Naming is one of the basic things a parent normally does…he remembers mock-fighting his wife over the name of their baby girl. "I would think that your kid would need a name, yes. Unless you want him to be referred to as 'it' in the future." _

_The Death God stood still, head still at an angle. "Hm…I heard that most names tend to contain meanings. Is that true?"_

"_Yes…some parents want to give a name that describe the child's personality, or give them a name that contains their wishes for the child's future. Some name their children after people important to them. Others just enjoy the sound a certain name produces." _

"_Hm…." And Shinigami put hand under his chin as though he was doing some heavy-thinking. _

_After just a moment of pondering, Shinigami suddenly clapped his hands together. Spirit jumped at the sound, but noted that the yellow-eyed baby didn't seem surprised at his father's antics at all. Finally, the reaper's playful voice said "Nawwww, too complicated! I think I'll just go with what I see. He's a kid, and he's a Death God. Therefore by logic, he'll be called Death the Kidd! Ta-da!"_

"_Ah…that's quite literal, don't you think?" Spirit silently wished the child luck._

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12 Years Ago:

The one known as Death Scythe isn't sure whether Kidd did end up lucky or not. On one hand, the child has status and wealth. On the other, his father's often turbulent attempts at parenting, as well as Shinigami's generally whimsical attitude towards life have left the child at the brink of an anxiety attack. Just the other day the child was mumbling something about symmetry.

So Spirit isn't the least bit surprised that Shinigami is asking him for child-rearing tips now. (Frankly put, the weapon is amazed that Kidd made it to become a toddler—once he found the older Death God feeding the infant a bottle of detergent in order to 'clean his insides'. No doubt Kidd had his god-body to thank for surviving through that.) Maka recently turned two-years-old as well, and Spirit knows how difficult it is to handle a child that age. All the questions, the pointing, the endless energy, and their urge to run off on their own into oblivion….

"Nee, Death Scythe, what should I do? Now that Kidd can walk and speak, he is asking a lot of questions about everything. He's walking around without me, and it is difficult to find him at times. Plus, he is starting to develop all these different interests as well! Am I supposed to let him be? What if he gets injured? What if he places himself in danger when I'm not around?"

Although Shinigami will never be remembered as the best parent in history, the affection and concern the Death God shows towards his own child compensates for any paternal shortcomings displayed. Spirit has to smile at that—and also at the fact that the Death God wants to ask the biggest womaniser in the city for advice on children. Spirit still hasn't figured out a way to deal with Maka at the precocious age of two, so the weapon decides to just serve up some sappy tip he read from a magazine a few months back:

"Shinigami, you don't have worry so much. You're already doing a pretty good job as a first-time parent. Our children will grow up eventually and find their own independence, but they're still exploring the world at this stage. So right now, all you have to do is support your child when he needs it."

"Ho…is that so? Support….? Thank you!"

Spirit took it as his cue to leave, and left the office feeling like the coolest father in Death City.

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After that meeting with Death Scythe, Shinigami started thinking. Then suddenly the object of his worries, Death the Kidd, toddles into his office area carrying a long piece of cloth with a small stool.

The child appears oblivious to his father's presence and proceeds towards one of the decorative crosses surrounding the platform. Kidd stands on the stool and struggles to loop the cloth over one of the fixtures, but manages it nonetheless. Curiosity got the better of Shinigami, and he heads over to where his son is.

"Hello there Kidd! What are you up to?" the Death God said in his normally playful voice.

"Father, I am attempting to kill myself through strangulation" said the toddler in a strangely formal voice.

"And why is that?" Shinigami was confused. This is what toddlers normally do, right?

"Because I'm not symmetrical, and therefore I do not deserve to exist".

The older Death God tilted his head. He thought he should talk Kidd out of hanging himself in the office, but Death Scythe did mention something about supporting whatever their children wants to do…

Seeing that the child is continuing to tie a knot and slip his head into the make-shift noose, Shinigami came to a decision.

"Nee Kidd, I don't think that cross is strong enough to support your weigh. See, it's just made of twigs…here, let me show you how it is done."

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Spirit Albarn couldn't believe what he saw in Shinigami's office. The weapon had left the office less than twenty minutes ago and had run directly into Sid—who asked Spirit to deliver an important piece of information to the Death God immediately. And what a difference twenty minutes could make.

In the centre of the office, surrounded by all the grave markers, is Death the Kidd and Shinigami. Except Kidd is standing on a stool, his neck in a noose, with the other end of the cloth tied to…Shinigami's hand. The older Death God looks as though he is enjoying himself in this 'bonding activity' with his son, while the younger god's face was expressionless. Both looked up at the intruder, but neither registered Spirit's shocked expression.

Waving to Spirit using his free hand, Shinigami shouted "Lookie, Death Scythe! I'm supporting my child, just as you recommended! Of course I had to offer my support, the child wanted to hang himself on the grave markers nearby—but none of them are strong enough to carry his weight! So I offered to help using my hand as the beam-"

At the same time, Death the Kidd said "Goodbye, may I be born again in a more symmetrical form next time" and proceeds to step off the chair.

Spirit almost had a heart attack at that, making a mental note that the next time he offers parenting advice to Shinigami, he will make sure that the phrase 'offering support' will not be taken literally.

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Spirit never knew how fast he ran that day to intercept Kidd before the child stepped off the chair; but it was fast enough to prevent a young Death God from, well, dying. After that incident, Shinigami is more confused on the ways of parenting than before, and is still wondering what exactly went wrong. In comparison, Kidd i disappointed at the foiled suicide attempt and left the office vowing to try again. What on earth can drive a two-year old contemplate suicide? Maybe offering parenting advice to Shinigami was just out of his league; he is just Spirit Albarn, a weapon and a human. The way of the Death Gods is probably beyond normal comprehension. Spirit is pretty sure he lost a few years off his life just from that little strangulation scare.

Seriously, one of these days the Death God father-and-son pair is going to be the death of him. Quite literally.

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Of course, my other story is still going to have updates, but I wanted to take time to write a little intermission for now. I am also going to be uploading another one of these stories soon. I hope you enjoyed this story, and please review or comment!


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